Where have you been? 

By 九月 8, 2015亂亂想

 
It was an emotional night for me. I was overwhelmed with negativity and had a lot of things running in my mind.

That night, I was so lost. It’s like going back to high school where you have to choose your course for college. In fact you don’t know what you want.

I really wish that I can just don’t care anything and dump my current job, full force on my blogging career.

But I can’t, because blogging doesn’t provide a constant amount of salary. I still have family to take care. I just can’t sacrifice it for the sake of passion.

And now I know the feeling of being a working adult. The moment when you off work and you just wish to stay at home and rest.

I know it should not be the reason that stops me from blogging. If it’s my passion, I will do no matter how tired I am.

I always thought I have a passion with it. Until today, it wasn’t.

Again, I lost my direction.

For my current job,I thought I was passionate for it. Indeed I learnt a lot of things, especially the knowledge about internet world included SEO and Google stuff. I’m thankful for all the training I have.

Again, job is always job. Now I’m becoming a robot and just complete task everyday.

I was so fueled when I just started for work. However, things getting different when you stay longer. The longer you work, the easiest you will become task oriented instead of being passionate.

Getting lost in my current job, getting lost in my passion. So I really wonder what am I doing. And sincerely hate this kind of feeling.

I’m looking for the fire, that sparks that keeps me going. Where have you gone?

nicccchang

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Join the discussion 2 Comments

  • KM 說:

    Aloha Ms. Chang,

    Noticed your post so thought I’d drop you a line.

    First of all, I think the “follow your passion” mantra is overrated and it’s a bad move (unless you do it for hobby). I remembered few years back when I started a self-development course online simply because I was so passionate in motivational stuff. However, the program didn’t turn out well… I made little money from it compared to the amount of effort I’ve put in… my passion slowly evolved into frustration and annoyance. Then my passion DIED.

    In my humble opinion, things that worked for you might not even come from your life’s passion. In my case, the things that turned out very well actually came from something I originally had no passion (or idea) at all. But guess what? Like anything in life, passion can be developed. I.e. once you found something that worked, your passion will grow. In other words, your passion level moved with your success.

    Nevertheless, it’s not easy to find something that worked as well, especially in today’s competitive market (else everyone would have done it right?). The key is to work on something that has VALUE in the market. In other words, work on something that people are willing to spend money on.

    As for job, I pretty much agree with you that “job is always job”. As long as you’re still taking orders from someone or playing by the rules, it’s pretty much the same no matter where you work. Even if you’re doing freelance work for others (I started as a freelancer online), your work is still considered a ‘job’. And when your client base grows, the feeling is like you’ve 10 different bosses to report to at 10 different time zones (at least what I felt previously).

    Many people talked about working their business on a ‘part-time’ basis while having their full-time job. And again, in my humble opinion, if you want to do something very well, you need to put in lots of effort and energy into it (in the beginning at least). But if you already spent 7-8 hours in your job every day, there’s really not much time PLUS energy left to focus your ‘own thing’.

    I think in the end, it boils down to how you define happiness and what you actually want in your life. Some people can be very content to have a job while others seem to want more in their life. As for me, I think happiness is the ability to do what you love to do, not what others love you to do.

    Good luck in finding your fire.

    Kind Regards,
    KM

    For your references:

    #1 http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/248311

    #2 https://www.themuse.com/advice/why-follow-your-passion-is-pretty-bad-advice

    • nicccchang 說:

      Hello there! I was surprise to see such a long comment! hahahah! This is real long! But I seriously agree with what you said and really thankyou for spending time to read my rants! Thank you for the articles and I guess I should figure it out on what should I do!

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